Month: June 2004

  •      I watched as the curious, the mourning and the respectful filed past the flag draped casket.


       My thoughts flitted about touching on memories of the man whose mortal remains lay therein. His second presidential term  closely followed my first time voting at 18, and he had been my candidate of choice. I was proud of that, and I felt again a bit of pride in that the candidate I had voted for had served as our country’s highest elected official. I remembered watching images of him with his arm around “his Nancy”; images of her small hand in the larger, gentle hand of “her Ronnie”, and thinking how wonderful it would be to have a relationship as special as theirs. I remembered hearing he had  been shot in an assassination attempt, how my heart stopped in my chest for a few frightening moments while I cried in fear and anger, and I remember interceding in fervent prayer for this man whom  I highly respected and admired. I remembered the compassionate, real,  and deeply touching reaction of the man when the shuttle Challenger exploded.


       As I looked at the flag draped casket, I thought about how much that man was belittled while he was in the Oval Office; belittled for being a person with a gentle spirit. I thought about how he remained steadfast in his principals and convictions in a place where most men choose to change allegiances and morals daily, and I felt respect and admiration for him once again. I remembered hearing about the illness that eventually took him and mourning the fact that the thief in the form of Alzheimer’s slowly robbed his Nancy of her Ronnie, and being just a little bit afraid of something similar  happening in the twilight years of my and my husband’s lives. Thinking on how he was no longer at the mercy of that thief, I felt gratitude that he was once again whole and that beautiful smile and laugh of his were once again in full bloom.


       What was his wife feeling today? For 52 years they were married and for 52 years she stood by his side. I could only imagine she was feeling both grief and loss, likely mixed with gratitude that her Ronnie was once again whole. My heart ached for her in her time of grief and my eyes filled with tears for her loss.


       I could hear very little sound in the marble lined room other than the footsteps of those who filed steadily in, around, and out of the room. Some paused to pray, to reflect, to lift a hand or offer a silent prayer. In the queue, an oriental man paused at the head of the casket. He bowed slowly and deeply three times in the Eastern manner of respect and honor, then slowly turned to his right and followed those filing out of the room.


      The honor guard of five from our nation’s armed services began the ceremony of the Changing of the Guard. These were the men and women chosen to bear the honor of having the duty of standing guard for a former Commander and Chief during the last time he would sojourn in our nation’s capitol. The honor guard who stood duty for the prior hour slowly stood aside to make way for those chosen to next bear the duty for the hour to come. Those who had finished their time at guard filed slowly and solemnly out in perfect cadence while I marveled at their perfectly measured steps and movements.


       While some of this I may one day forget, what next happened is burned into my memory…


       Staying as upright as his still healing injuries would allow, the young man moved painfully but with dignity between the ropes forming a semi-circular path around the dais bearing the flag draped casket. Flanked by two men at least twice his 19 or 20 years, his unadorned army khaki’s were crisp and fresh, but plain beside the heavily decorated chest of the colonel who walked beside him. The young soldier stopped at the head of the casket and slowly removed from his arms the canes that aided in keeping him walking steady. His arms were rapped in pressure bandages and very little remained below the elbow of his left arm, while nothing remained below the wrist on his right arm. His army style buzz cut did little to cover the angry scar on the back of his skull, and his forehead bore more scars barely healed.


        I looked at his eyes as he straightened to his full height, and slowly saluted the fallen former Commander and Chief that lay before him. He held the salute for a long count then bowed his head in what looked like a moment of silent prayer.


        Here stood a man, barely out of boyhood, who probably had not yet been born at the time President Ronald Reagan was elected to his second 4 year term.  Here in the Rotunda of the Capitol in Washington, DC stood a defender of our liberties who had given his blood, his self, his hands and arms, in defending the ideals the office of the President represents. This young soldier’s eyes bore respect, grief for the death of a greatly respected man, and sadness. There amidst a sea of curious onlookers stood a young hero, who bore no anger, malice, or self pity, only compassion, honor, and esteem for the man whose body lay in state before him.


     


       I will carry the vision of that soldier with me for a very long time.


      That young man’s newest sacrifice is burned into my mind’s eye: the sacrifice of his own grief and pain in the face of another’s.


     


     What a rare and wondrous thing I was privileged to witness today. I was touched deeply in more ways than one.


     


     

  •    Last evening I pulled out a book to read a bit before sleeping. I wasn’t yet sleepy, Michael was long in the land of nod and there was nothing of interest on television.


      The book I picked up had been recently rescued from a box in my garage (the place also known as no-man’s-land …YIKES!). At 4 p.m. on Saturday I realized I had not yet decided what we would have for supper. OOPS.


        In grubbing about in the overcrowded and highly in need of defrosting freezer, I found a nice sized bag of mozzarella cheese and decided that Saturday evening was a pizza kind of night. When I shut the freezer I turned a bit too abruptly and knocked a box over containing books. Books I had been LOOKING FOR and that shouldn’t have been in the too-damp-for-books garage. GRUMP


      Inside the box were my John Fischer books **I have been looking for these for a YEAR!**, a Bible study book on Romans, a telephone sans the power cord, file papers in need of shredding, ½ dozen books on herbs and homesteading, a few miscellaneous books, 25 or so empty CD cases, and …mouse droppings. OH GROSS.


     


    >>>MICHAEL! WE NEED POISON IN THE GARAGE….LIKE NOW!!<<<


      Anywho…


      I rescued my missing but not forgotten items and left the CD cases and mouse droppings behind, taking everything directly into the laundry room to be cleaned, wiped off and disinfected. Gross. Mouse droppings are GROSS. The papers were put on top of the shredder to await being cross-cut shredded to be added to the compost pile or to be used as garden mulch.


      The book I picked up was Chicken Soup for the Christian Soul. Thinking about where the book came from, I did’t remember buying it and I know I didn’t read it. I guess it must have been in a bag of books given to me, or it was picked up at a yard sale or thrift store and set in the box when we packed to move 2 ½ years ago. Yes, there are still unpacked boxes in my garage from that long ago. We had items in storage in my brother and sister-in-law’s basement for 10 years while we lived in a mobile home. Much of what is in the garage is from the basement, items awaiting a final home, and etc. items. Etc. items are things that we need to make a decision on but haven’t yet, but since we hope to finish off the garage this fall those etc. items will soon be moved out, moved in, or be moving on.


       One of the first several short stories in the book was one by Corrie Ten Boom. Only a few short pages in this book, but it cut me to the heart when I read it. She talks of ministering to people after the war. Many of those she spoke to were those who were wounded in spirit, mind and body by the Nazis. They lost homes, possessions, loved ones, and more than a little bit of themselves in the concentration camps. She spoke of forgiveness and moving on, continuing the life that God had blessed them with. Following these profound statements, she sees a man walking towards her who had been a guard in the concentration camp, Auschwitz, where she and her sister had been imprisoned, and where her sister had met her death. He had been the most terrible of the guards and she remembered him vividly. He did not remember her, but he did come up to her and ask her forgiveness as one of those who persecuted her. He was now a believer and her brother in Christ, and was asking her forgiveness. Not able to do it in and of herself, she asks the Lord to give her the strength to do so, and in doing so a healing begins in her.


      This in and of itself it a profound and life changing moment, but what she says about forgiveness sums up what I have felt about but never been able to put so succinctly into words. Forgiveness isn’t an act of the will, it is an act of faith. That the Lord will complete the work He begins. Forgiveness isn’t restitution. It doesn’t make right the wrong done, but it begins the healing in the one giving forgiveness. Our flesh cannot give the forgiveness that Christ commanded .


     


      “ Treat others as you would have them forgive you.” He also said that by the measure we forgive others, that is the same measure by which we will be forgiven.” Matthew 7:14


        “If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matt. 6:14,15).


       “…Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” (Luke 6:37)


     


       Forgiveness was pretty important to Jesus. He spoke about it a lot. And what is impressive is that He practiced what He preached. It’s rare to find those who are a living example of Christ’s exhortation to give the same forgiveness that we so highly value being the recipient of. I have never read any of Corrie ten Boom’s writings. I don’t quite know how I missed doing so, but I am going to do so now.


       Quiltnmom speaks about forgiveness on her blog. Check it out and let me know what you think.


       Reading about it 2 days in a row..hmm… I wonder if the Lord is trying to teach me something specific here.


      

  •    Last week we “deep cleaned” the whole living space part of the house except the sewing/guest room in preparation for having about 40 people over for a Memorial Day cookout (or cook-in if the weather wasn’t amenable to cooking out). I was mistaken: I did _not_ clean the laundry room and it was a MESS. I had the vent for the dryer hooked up so that when the weather was cold, the dryer vented into the house to add heat and humidity. Unfortunately, somewhere along the line the vent hose popped off the lint catcher and I didn’t see that it had happened. When I went to switch the vent back to summer mode, I found a big ole honkin pile of lint and a MESS.


       Blech.


       With all the painting and cleaning, “stuff” just kept getting piled into the laundry room for later attention. You know what I mean don’t you? The laundry room is sort of like the kitchen junk drawer. Every odd and end finds its way into there at some time or another. 


       Meanwhile, I was ignoring the dryer lint dust rhinos that had taken over the back corner of the laundry room. Hey, they were happy there, why should I bother the herd?!


        Hint: DON’T PROCRASTINATE. It will come back to bite you on the a**.



        Since I was feeling so punk today I have only had energy to do the laundry.That’s a  low energy task generally, right? Michael was being a love and ferried the clean items up to our bedroom loveseat so I could sit and watch TV while I folded laundry since it is much easier to put things away since 99% of the laundry goes upstairs anyway. After eating supper, Michael took Brenna to her Stars class at church and I went back to the laundry. I walked in the laundry room and…



      …squish..


      …squish..


      …squish…



     OH MAAANN (ok, that is the PG version of what I really said )…. Water. ALL over the floor. ALL OVER the place, stopping _just_ short of the carpet on the steps leading stepping down into the family room, or up into the kitchen. Brenna’s rice sock was lying on teh floor and I believe that worked as a barrier to the water seeping onto the carpet. Thank the Lord for that! Thankfully I had JUST filled the laundry sorting bins up with what had ben the floor waiting to be washed . No soggy casualties save a few stray socks under the washer and a sweater that had fallen behind the sorter who knows when.


      Yea. I am having cramps from Hades. I have a mild migraine. I REALLY feel like doing this. Yes, I know it needs to be cleaned desperately but NOT today. ‘sigh’


       Start emptying the room. Putting all the bleach bottles, tool boxes, etc up off the floor (man I really need to build that laundry cabinet, this small guy is the pits). Michael gets back from church and runs into the garage to grab the shop vac for me. I think to CHECK the shop vac before I turn it on *oh Lord thank you*, and it has about 3 gallons of pine needles in it from the last time it was used. THAT would have made a lovely mess blowing all over my dark green family room carpet! Take out the vac and dump the needles under a pine tree. Lug the 16 gallon beast back in the house and start sucking up the water. Move the washer. Clean under it. Move the dryer. Clean under that. Etc etc. I am proud to say the laundry room dry and defussed, but still needs a bit more  straightening. I am just not in the mood tonight. I went upstairs and watched Law and Order SVU and Crossing Jordan and folded clothes.In doing so I forget to take the puppy out and she anoints my bedroom floor. Grrrr.


      Oh, by the way, it was the pillows that I was washing that caused the overflow. Best I can figure one of the sofa pillows being washed must have blocked the water as it ran into the tub. As it blocked the water to flowed over the edge of the tub and out the back.


      I am covered with dryer lint. Michael keeps picking it out of my hair. I think I need to go shower.


       I guess I should be glad that I hadn’t cleaned the room yet or I  would have been ticked to clean the room twice.


     


        Ouch.


        I have a sore spot on my a** from getting bit…