January 28, 2005

• Can You Hear Me Now?       It flips. It beeps. It chirps. It glows, vibrates and burps. You see them in the hands of drivers , 10 year olds, professionals and streetwalkers *er...I guess they are professionals too???*.     That's right, you guessed it. I am talking cell phones here. *well, what didja THINK I was talking about hmmm?*.     Over the last 15 years I have had four different cell phones. Each succeeding generation was slightly smaller, added more features and got so complicated that it required a manual the size of the Long Island Yellow Pages to use. In the five years since I last purchased one, the humble cell phone has morphed from a slightly nifty utilitarian tool of communication into  WOW HOT DANG THIS THING IS REALLY COOL !!!   200 different ring tones and midis are installed on this little marvel of technology, with a virtually unlimited selection of music and tones available for download. You know what that means people...it means  the ability to assign songs fitting the character of each  caller *insert wicked grin here*.    Really... think about it...      Ok...who gets assigned    the Liberace tune?  Go ahead...give me a reason to make you Mr. Tickle the Ivories....try to live THAT one down will ya!       Do you happen to know a "Dude Looks Like a Lady", a la Aerosmith? At present I don't believe I do, but I will keep that at the back of my mind... ya know, just in case.      What about that guy that thinks he is heaven's gift to every woman, when in actuality the theme song from Fantasy Island  fits that guy right nicely.     And I don't mean that as a happy fantasty  kiddoes...              Well, let's not forget everyone's favorite, that person in your life who is totally-waiting-for-the-straight-jacket-to-be-fitted? Ya know, the one you duck under the table in Chili's because of? Dive into the wrong rest room due to? Jump into the bushes to avoid and wind up stepping into a pile of gack obviously left behind by a dog the size of King Kong?      Yeah that guy.      You can run but you can't hiiiidddeee....     Ozzy Ozbourne's Crazy Train would let you know IMMEDIATELY who's call to let go to voice mail...   Press 3 to DELETE this message...Whoops .       Every person and personality deserves his or her own "theme song" don't you think?    Pick whom you will, but there IS someone, maybe it will change hourly, weekly, maybe with the moon, maybe with hormones...the ever popular...                                                 Elton John's "The Bitch is Back".    Aww...comon, don't lose your sense of humor on me! Admit it...even if you aren't proud of it there is someone who even for a split second in one day of the month, of the year whom you would love to tag their name and number with that....     I didn't say it was NICE or to actually do it, but there are definitely some people that seem to strive to make that not only their theme song but the epithet on their gravestone.      Its a good thing it costs 2 bucks apiece to download fancy schmancy tunes. That will keep me from having to repent of giving into a particularly unsavory impulse, or from having to explain why THAT particular song were to play when my cell phone rings.    I am off to play with cell phone tunes.    Let me know what song you want next to your name... ;o)                                                                                              Until Later...                                                         Kathie

  • 3:10 am
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