March 24, 2006

• How To Lose a Mind in Forty Steps or Less     How do you get along with lists? I don't know about all of you, but making a list makes the tasks that need to be done so concrete so..so...there that the list and items there-on become obsessive to me.     Once I start making a list, I can't stop. I keep thinking of more and more things to add to it, because if I don't add everything the list isn't complete. Complete is the thing you know. Thus my brain goes into hyper drive and I keep thinking of more things to add. Then that list spawns others. Then I lay awake at night seeing those lists. My memory is on the order of photographic...once I have written something down or see it in written form I never forget it. I will literally wake at 4 a.m. and think "Bathroom needs a new coat of paint...Floor in laundry room needs replacing...Water faucets outside need to be bled...Need to weed the shade garden..." AHHHHHHHH. My brain will NOT shut off. It's like a movie that keeps endlessly cycling and looping. A list just makes it worse.     I think I have issues.     I have a pretty darned good memory, and its a good thing since lists and I don't get along. Over the last several years the only lists that I have typed would be for running errands all in one day *generally involving things I don't do in the normal course of the week* or for projects *there is a finite amount of things for that type of list*. One example would be the laying of tile for our new Quadra Fire pellet stoves. Oh, these stoves are gorgeous, but they are large, much larger than the existing stove in our family room. In order to install the new stove the tile pad where the existing stove is has to be broken up and new cement board and new tile has to be laid. In the living room the stove was an entire new install so that involved cutting carpet, laying cement board and laying tile, then having my friend Tony, who is a contractor, come in and cut through the 230 year old section of wall to run the vent pipe. That project I finished several weeks ago and it looks mahvelous! Pictures soon to be posted once the texturing and painting of the walls is done and the room looks less like a war zone. Pieces for the redo of Brenna's bathroom along with all the construction debris are littering the room from stem to stern and it is maddening I tell you! But that is story for another day...   So in order to install the aforementioned pellet stoves I had to have materials. I had to make a list, because unlike myself, Mike is mighty big on list making and utilizing. He is also into written directions to places, while I prefer a map. I definitely think our brains are wired differently, and that is ok, we compliment each other well. This man is an uber talented musician, has a servant's heart, I love him to distraction, he is an amazing computer geek, and a terrific dad among other things, but please do not send him to the grocery store for more than three things without a list in hand.   No it is not a joke. The man can remember near every rock album recorded. He can tell you what music group recorded what when, who did production on it, what the dude was wearing when he recorded said album, but he can't remember more than three things when going to the grocer. Its a running joke 'tween the two of us now, and no it doesn't bother me. I just make him a list and if I don't feel compelled to do so he always asks for one. That is, if he needs to get more than three items.   So back to my last list. It was Saturday, so it meant we would be going to Home Depot. Out of the last 52 Saturdays I kid you not that we must have gone to Home Depot at least on 49 of them. Making our list, Mike stuck it into his inside jacket pocket and we set out in the van for the Big Orange Box store.    Before we hit the end of the drive I remembered something else that was needed. We were but a mile from the house when I remembered something else. When we pulled in the parking lot there was yet another item added to the list. After getting our carts and walking halfway back to the tile aisle, I added yet another item.   Mike was getting sick of pulling out his pen to add to the list so he handed both to me.   It took us about 45 minutes to gather all of our tiling materials, during which time I remembered at least two more needed items, and we then made our way towards the register *but Lordy NOT those danged self-serve things...they are terrible in Home Depot! Half the items don't ring up, they don't register as being bagged, and it beeps at you more than Rosie the Robot from the Jetsons*. As we unloaded our carts I remembered yet ANOTHER item...the trim to transition between the tile and the carpet. Mike's face fell as he realized we might never leave Home Depot. I relented and said that since it was the last thing to do, and since the stove had to be moved onto the tile after it was dried and set, I didn't want the wood trim to get trashed anyway, so let's just leave it til later.   Shew. I told you. Lists are never complete if I am around. Its a sickness. A SICKNESS!   But what about those tiny lists in your head? You know...the ones you make as you go throughout your day cleaning, working in the yard, spiffying up the garage or removing oak leaves from the gutter? Inevitably while in the middle of a task I remember something I HAVE TO DO right then, so I have to halt what I am doing and move to take care of this immediate need. The problem comes that when I walk about 40 steps away from what I was doing, I forget WHAT THE HECK it was I was going to go do.  ???????????? What in the WORLD???   I know it was important. I know it is something that HAS to be done. And I also know that standing in the middle of a room going "What for the love of Pete am I in here for?" isn't going to accomplish a danged thing. So I retrace my steps back to where I was and stand with my hand on my forehead trying to dredge the task out from under the sludge that it suddenly was buried under. AHA! Its back!   What is it about that magical spot where I am standing? Why is it when I am standing next to the privet hedge I was trimming I remembered that the hose was still running out back, but when I walked halfway round the house I had no idea why I was there? Is there some special air next to the privet hedge that encourages my memory, or is there a "fergit it now" spell on the far side of the house?  And what about sitting at the computer and you remember that you forgot to pull the steak out to thaw for dinner. So you stand up, walk 22 steps into the next room and have NO freaking idea why you are there?   What about when you pick up the phone to call someone because you have to tell them something, only to draw a complete blank when they pick up the phone. In fact, it takes a moment for you to remember who the heck it was  you called? Uhhhhhhh... ::yeah that sounds intelligent and impressive...way to go Katt::   Well I guess I could try to work on the whole list thing again, but after a lifetime of being brought to distraction by lists its a bit of a hard row to hoe on that one. Besides, if I had a list, not only would I have to deal with endlessly adding things to it, when I remembered something that needed to go on it and I stood up to go put it on the list, before I got to the room where the list was I would have forgotten that I was going to add something to it.   Is there a group something on the order of List Makers Anonymous? What about "Help for Those Who Have Lost Their Mind in Forty Steps or Less"?  Send it to me if you know, but don't put it in the form of a list. I would have to keep adding to it and we all know how that would end.   Or not...                                                                Til next time...                                                                             Kathie

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