March 27, 2006

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  Things That Make You Go "Hmm..."    Are people just weirder and stupider today than they were in times past, or is it that we have an uber efficient news distribution system that allows us to share in the utter insanity of people and the ridiculous and/or weird things that happen to them or that they do?     I will leave you to ponder that while you read the following news stories: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Teacher Allegedly Gives Student Some Pot Monday, March 20, 2006 (03-20) 15:04 PST Fairfax, Va. (AP) -- A Chantilly High School teacher accused of giving marijuana to a student was arrested at his home on Monday. Thomas Newlun, 53, faced charges including marijuana distribution and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. According to police, Newlun allegedly gave a small amount of marijuana to a 17-year-old student after class last Friday. The boy then gave the drugs to a school security officer. Fairfax County Public Schools spokesman Paul Regnier said Newlun is on administrative leave without pay. Newlun, a special education teacher, started working for the system in 1989, and except for being out one year, has been there since. Kathie's Note: Holy little yellow bus!  Special education teacher? Someone's wheels aren't turning. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Burned Man Says He Was Better Off Naked Tuesday, March 14, 2006 (03-14) 19:37 PST Fort Pierce, Fla. (AP) -- Paul Kuschel would have been better off naked — like many of the folks at Sunnier Palms Nudist Park. Instead, he was wearing a pair of nylon shorts Sunday when a generator he was working on backfired and sprayed him with starter fluid, setting him ablaze. "I would have been better off wearing nothing on at all," Kuschel told Scripps Treasure Coast Newspapers. The fire seared his shorts to his backside. "It's a good thing I wasn't wearing a shirt," he said. Kuschel, 43, suffered second-degree and third-degree burns. He was taken to a hospital with non life-threatening wounds and was treated and released. Authorities said the fire erupted as Kuschel was trying to start the generator on a motorhome in the park, which was also damaged in the blaze. Kuschel reported to his carpentry job Monday morning, even though he can't even swing a hammer because of his injuries. "I'm just a tough old mule," Kuschel said. "And I don't want to lose this job." He said he and his wife, Carol, have lived in a tent since moving from Dayton, Ohio, in February and had planned to move into the motorhome, which he just bought Saturday. "Guess we'll be back in the tent until I can get (the motorhome) fixed," he said Kathie's Note: Yea...THAT's what you want when you set your hairy arse ablaze...you want to be buck naked. And if he burned his arse, why is he having trouble swinging a hammer...??? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Couple Cited in Bizarre Fake Penis Case - By JOE MANDAK, Associated Press Writer Friday, March 3, 2006 (03-03) 14:27 PST Pittsburgh (AP) -- A man and woman were cited Friday in connection with a bizarre incident that resulted in a fake penis being microwaved at a convenience store last week. Leslye Creighton, 41, of Wilkinsburg, and Vincent Bostic, 31, of Pittsburgh, were both cited for criminal mischief and disorderly conduct in the Feb. 23 incident at the Get Go! gasoline and convenience store in McKeesport, about 10 miles east of Pittsburgh. Each charge carries a possible sentence of up to 90 days in jail and up to a $300 fine. Bostic had filled a fake penis with his urine that Creighton, a friend, planned to use to pass a drug test she was taking to get a job, Police Chief Joseph Pero said. Creighton asked a store clerk to microwave the device so the urine inside would be body-temperature and fool those giving the drug test, Pero said. Police still aren't sure why or how Creighton chose to use a device that mimics the male sex organ to pass her drug test. Creighton didn't immediately return a call to her home on Friday. Defense attorney William Difenderfer didn't dispute the police account, but said there's no proof his clients had any criminal intent to damage the microwave — the basis for the criminal mischief charge. "I certainly understand the ramifications and I'm certainly not saying it wasn't a stupid thing to do," Difenderfer said. "But there's a lot of bizarre stuff that we don't always have a remedy for in the crimes code." Difenderfer said his clients want to settle the case, in part, by reimbursing the store for a new microwave oven. Pero said the store got rid of the old oven because it couldn't be used for food once bodily fluids were cooked inside it. Neither Difenderfer nor Pero know what kind of job the woman applied for, or whether she was hired. Kathie's Note: Ok...is there any doubt that SOMEONE was on drugs and needed someone else's urine to pass the drug test? Ima thinkin' it would have been easier and cheaper to just be CLEAN for the urine test? Side Note: I will never look at a microwave oven in a convenience store in the same way after this...In fact I think this has given me a new phobia. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Police: Man Pulls Gun After Oatmeal Prank Tuesday, March 14, 2006 (03-14) 14:35 PST La Crosse, Wis. (AP) -- A 20-year-old man who awoke after a party to find himself covered in syrup and dry oatmeal is the one facing a criminal charge after authorities say he turned a gun on the man who admitted pulling the prank. Witnesses told police they were just trying to "get even" with Travis Maassen for pranks he had pulled in the past few days, according to a criminal complaint. But Maassen "freaked out," emerging from a bedroom Friday with a .22 caliber bolt-action rifle the complaint said. One man tackled Maassen after having the gun pointed at his head, the complaint said. Maassen was charged with second-degree recklessly endangering safety while armed. He's on probation for carrying a concealed .25 caliber handgun, the complaint said. La Crosse County Circuit Judge Ramona Gonzalez ordered Maassen held on a $5,000 cash bond Monday. Kathie's Note: Dude! People pay good money for that type of facial mask! You now undoubtedly have the smoothest skin in your frat! Rock on! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Boss Sued Over 'Breast Attention' From: AAP March 27, 2006 A WOMAN who had breast enlargement surgery to transform her B-cup to a DD-cup is taking her boss to court for looking at her breasts too often. Sabrina Pace, 26, who works at a Cardiff car-hire firm, said that after she returned to work following her breast operation, her manager, David Ford, began to pay her unwanted attention. At an employment tribunal this week, she said Ford had suggested she pose for a calendar. "You will have to close your cardigan, Sabrina, unless you want me to talk to your breasts," he is alleged to have told her. The tribunal failed to support her claim of harassment. Kathie's Note: Well, hrm...I guess the operation was a success??? She is suing when she made the girls bigger and more noticeable, and when they are noticed she gets bent over it? As a big-busted girl I have had many a man talk to my chest, and there are a few guys I have told that there were no microphones in there so stop talking to 'em. But suing when you went and had the girls enhanced and then they get noticed? He is looking "Too often"? Is there a per peer charge involved now?? ::ok this is tongue in cheek people...no one bust me **hehe** for it, k? I KNOW sexual harassment is real and unwarrented, but Ima thinking we need to take personal responsibility too:: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Woman Has Grave 'Stolen' From correspondents in Frankfurt 27-03-2006 From: The Australian A GERMAN woman is threatening legal action after her grave was "stolen" by one of her in-laws. Christa Jahn, 73, had bought a plot next to her husband, Hans, but was shocked to discover that her late husband's family had installed his Aunt Johanna in the grave. Jahn said: "When I went to lay fresh flowers on my beloved Hansi's grave, I saw in horror that the grave next to his, which I paid for with my own money, was taken by his aunt. I thought my heart would explode. "Now I understand why Hans's family did not invite me to her funeral this January. It was an evil plot to snatch my grave. I now say to the Evangelical Church that runs the cemetery: Give me back my grave, or I will take legal action." . Kathie's Note: I wonder if Hansi noticed who was sleeping next to him? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Harrods Boss Want to Become Clock-Mummy From: AAP From correspondents in London March 27, 2006 HARRODS boss Mohammed al-Fayed, whose son Dodi was killed in the same car crash as Diana, princess of Wales, reportedly wants to be mummified when he dies and incorporated into the clock on the roof of his Knightsbridge store. The Sun newspaper reported that Fayed wants his body embalmed and made into the hour hand of the giant clock that sits atop the legendary London grocers' shop. Fayed's artistic director Bill Mitchell said: "This project is certainly a lot of fun for us. Becoming the hour hand of a moving clock would be his last grand gesture. I think he was very tickled by the idea. "He's planning on being mummified and attached to a rotor so he can slowly inch around the clock and be used to tell the time for years to come. "Yes, it sounds like a mad idea but he's a showman and loves this sort of thing." Kathie's Note: Well, at least no one will be stealing HIS grave!                                                                               Til next time...                                                                    Kathie

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